Memoirs of my life, live blogging style

Tina Fey Pictures - Tina Fey Funny Quotes - Esquire

2010-03-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

Tina Fey Pictures - Tina Fey Funny Quotes - Esquire

2010-03-14T14:37:00.000-07:00

Hi Interents!

I hope you are well. I'm doing sort of fine.

xo,

Brooke

I love old internet memes

2009-06-11T19:43:00.001-07:00

facebook is the devil

2009-05-26T19:50:00.000-07:00

So a dude who I may or may not have had a two night stand with changed his 'default' picture. It is not attractive. I caught myself cringing and then I remembered that I farted on him a few times while he slept.

Whoops. I'm gross but at least I'm pretty.

2009-05-18T18:03:00.000-07:00

For the past few weeks I've devoted myself to my Mom's re-election campaign (votecathy2009.com).

Tomorrow morning, I'm getting up at 6am, to get to the polls by 7am. If my Mom gets re-elected, it will be awesome. More deets to come, after tomorrow.

Also, I impulsively bought a case of awesome beer. Thus far, no one in this house has touched it. Oh good grief.

Things I secretly love

2009-05-17T15:42:00.001-07:00

Tom Hanks 80's-90's movies
Manicures
Pedicures
Strange flowers
The spacey feeling that cold medicine gives you, when you REALLY need it to work
Amazon.com

I guess I don't secret love any of these things anymore. Rats.

2009-05-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

It's mildly terrifying how most of my expressions mimic various Lancastrians.

FUDGE

2009-04-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning to a really interesting email.

'Hi Brooke,

You could still apply and start in the fall – possibly even take a course this summer if you move quickly.

(non important testing info)

If you have any questions, please let me know.

Best wishes,

Dr. X'

Well... here we go.

Disasters in Cooking

2009-04-25T12:26:00.000-07:00

Just attempted to make mac and cheese (from scratch) on my own without my Mom's recipe. Disaster. It's just no good.

The cookies I made by the seat of my pants are probably going to be amazing. Mint chocolate chip and mint Oreo sugar... not exactly healthy but I don't care, they're not for me anyway.

Sometimes FEMA helps... ?

2009-04-22T16:48:00.000-07:00

Disaster Unemployment Assistance Is Available Now

BISMARCK, N.D. — People whose employment was affected by the severe storms and flooding beginning March 13 and continuing may apply for Disaster Unemployment Assistance.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) funds the program, which is administered by Job Service North Dakota. Residents in the 26 counties designated for Individual Assistance may qualify, as well as persons residing outside a designated county whose employment was affected in a designated county. The claims period began March 13; deadline to apply is May 13.

"It is a priority for us to work with FEMA to administer Disaster Unemployment Assistance and help address disaster victims' needs for financial assistance during this difficult time," Maren Daley, executive director of Job Service North Dakota, said. "We encourage North Dakotans who have lost employment or wages due to severe storms or flooding to apply for benefits through this program."

DUA differs from traditional unemployment insurance in that it is available to workers who are self-employed, including farmers and ranchers. People who were scheduled to begin work but were not able to due to the disaster are also eligible.

DUA is available to individuals who:

* Can no longer work or perform services because of physical damage or destruction to the place of employment as a direct result of the disaster;
* Establish that work or self-employment they can no longer perform was their primary source of income;
* Do not qualify for regular unemployment benefits from any state;
* Cannot perform work or self-employment because of an injury as a direct result of the disaster;
* Became the breadwinner or major support of a household because of the death of the head of household, or
* Cannot reach their place of employment as a direct result of the disaster.

Counties declared for Individual Assistance are Adams, Barnes, Billings, Burleigh, Cass, Dickey, Emmons, Foster, Grand Forks, Griggs, Hettinger, Kidder, LaMoure, Logan, McIntosh, Mercer, Morton, Nelson, Ransom, Richland, Sargent, Steele, Stutsman, Towner, Traill and Williams.

The initial application for DUA can be filed by completing the form(s) that can be found under the Disaster Unemployment link on www.jobsnd.com and returning the form(s) to Job Service by mail or fax. Mail to Job Service North Dakota, Benefits Unit, P.O. Box 5507, Bismarck, ND 58506-5507 or fax to 701-328-2728.

Claims may also be filed by calling Job Service North Dakota at 701-328-1630, Monday-Friday, 8 a.m.-5 p.m. For local reemployment services, job seekers and employers should contact their local Job Service North Dakota office, listed at www.jobsnd.com.

The first possible week of compensation for DUA purposes is the week ending Saturday, March 21, continuing until Saturday, September 26, 2009, as long as the unemployment continues to be a result of the disaster. Benefits are based on past income earned during calendar year 2008 and range from $141 to $406 per week.

To file a claim, individuals will need items such as their Social Security numbers, a copy of their 2008 federal income tax forms, business financial statements, pay stubs/vouchers, trip tickets, crop elevator receipts/credits, bank receipts; and a statement from their last employer affirming they were working at the time of the disaster or a copy of a letter of hire.

Self-employed individuals should include a copy of Schedule C, F, SE or K with Form 1040. To receive DUA benefits, all required documentation must be submitted within 21 days from the day the claim was filed. Claims filed after May 13 will be denied unless the claimant can provide a valid reason for the delay.

For more information on North Dakota disaster recovery operations, visit http://www.fema.gov/midwestfloods.

This just in...

2009-04-21T16:40:00.000-07:00

Be nice to people who staff hospitals. The phelebotomists, the billing people, receptionists, security staff, everyone.

I had a 7:30am appointment to get an ultrasound (not pregnant, don't worry) at HUP. This meant being up, dressed, out the door by 6:50, to get to the hospital. Arrival was early (woo!), signed in, sat down, read a bit, picked my nose, blah blah blah. There are signs all over the waiting room saying, "If you are waiting more than 15 minutes, please alert the reception staff." Well, 7:45 rolls around and no roll call. At this point, I'm crabby. 7:50, an intake person calls my name. "Do you have a referral?" I almost threw up on her shoes. "I wasn't told I needed one." "Oh. Well, it's my job to make sure you don't get a big bill. Let's make sure this doesn't happen."

Lady Wonderful Nurse not only re-scheduled me, wrote down everything I need for an over the phone referral, AND called the Dr who asked me to get an ultrasound to let them know it would be a week later than expected.

:)

Academic minutae

2009-04-20T17:17:00.000-07:00

Transcript of the three way conversation (not as exciting as it sounds) between my best friend (Doctoral Candidate at Mizzou), boyfriend (Doctoral candidate at UDel) and myself (Doctoral Candidate at Clown U).

Bffe- Make these edits... here, this will help
Me- Ok, rad
Boyfriend- INCLUDE YOUR CV!
Bffe- Yes! Absolutely!
Me- My what?
Boyfriend- Your vitae. You know, all of your published work, it's like four pages long...
Me- My what?!
Bffe- (links to an example)
Me- *gets overwhelmed* I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT EVA PERON! WHAT IS THIS EVITAE NONSENSE?!
Boyfriend- Seriously, be as professional as you can be or else people aren't going to take you seriously.
Bffe- (is furiously editing)
Me-I'm never getting into grad school...
Bffe- This isn't your application?
Me- No
Bffe and Boyfriend- NEVERMIND!
Bffe- It's vitae, technically...

Quitting/changes

2009-04-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, internet... How are you? I'm exhausted, stressed, anxious, etc.

In the next half hour I need to fold laundry, head out the door, help a friend unpack her new apartment, come home, get a shower, go to sleep and pretend that I'm Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Long story short, I got my Mom's election website up and running. Her promotional materials are done and most of them are out. Flyer-ing needs to be done. Mock ballots need to be distributed. Phone calls need to be made. I need to find sensible shoes to go with my dress, to wear to the polls.

Also, this Thursday I have my introduction training to be a firs responder for the Salvation Army. I've also talked to people at GreaterPhillyCares, since the SalVal incidents might conflict with my 9-5 office drone schedule.

Oh yeah, studying is... going. Whoever lied to me and told that I should take time off between undergrad and grad school is a butthead. Yes I have "real life experience" and I'll appreciate my education (IF I EVEN GET IN OHMYGOD) but seriously...

Remind to self, get Mom's gmail info so I can check on her Google analytic s. Not sure if I copied and pasted the code correctly.

Blah blah blah blah blah, oh, Bell's Brewery has revitalized my love for beer. Nothing out of their summer line is anything less than delicious. A+, will drink again.

Karen's life is over (Thank you, Consumerist!)

2009-03-22T11:08:00.000-07:00

FTC To Require Advertisers Using Testimonials To Show Typical Results

http://consumerist.com/5179090/ftc-to-require-advertisers-using-testimonials-to-show-typical-results

Belz, this is my love song to you. Only... sung by Andrew W.K.

2009-03-03T18:07:00.000-08:00

2009-02-22T18:13:00.000-08:00

Hello interwebz. How are you? I hope you're well.

I'm watching The Life Aquatic.

Love, hugs, and kisses,
Brooke

How to survive a break up

2008-12-18T18:54:00.000-08:00

Buy a jar of Nutella. Eat the shit out of it. Put Nutella on everything. Bread, rice cakes, fruit, a fork, everything. There is nothing that Nutella doesn't enhance. You are dead wrong if you think otherwise. Nutella is ambrosia.

Talk to your bffles. A lot. Complain about (insert sex of choice). Have an online drinking date. Be nostalgic. Do not under any circumstances drink to the point of vomitting.

Listen to Amy Winehouse's "Back to Black". Listen to Nina Simone. Listen to Slayer. Listen to music that makes you feel the whole spectrum of pain. Listen to LOTS of Dio. Country music (real country, not this I got drunk and key'd my ex's car radio bullshit) is solid pain music, as well.

Watch 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' as many times as you can. You get dumped in a particularly brutal fashion? Were you naked during it? Yeah, this movie can one up you. Once you feel better, watch 'Annie Hall'.

Allow yourself to have moments of manic behavior but don't get caught up in it. That Dr. Horrible DVD is totally justified but bidding on Joss Whedon's soul is not.

Last but not least, get over it. Bitches come and go. You can always make somebody else like you.

HAH

2008-12-02T20:30:00.001-08:00

Films everyone should see

2008-11-30T15:48:00.000-08:00

One: Let the Right One In

Swedish vampire movie. It looks fantastic.

Two: Milk

The trailer made me cry.

Happy Day of Giving Thanks

2008-11-27T15:35:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for my neurotic family.
I am thankful for my friends.
I am thankful for my health, my job, and my life.

Most of all, I am thankful that in the past year my life has been at the highest I've ever known and the lowest and ultimately I've learned that NOTHING is the end of the world. Shit happens. You move on.

Now, I am going to get out of my food coma, drink some champagne with my Mom, and talk about BOYYYYYYYYYYS. I've decided for Christmas I'm going to ask for DAVID TENNANT, of which I am ALSO thankful for. Even if the rat-bastard is leaving the Tardis.

Love

2008-11-26T20:25:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't do whack ass shit in the name of trying to find'the one'? Eh. I tried. It was just really nice for once to have a really attractive guy find me really attractive.

Well, such is life. I'm an adult. I deal.

THAT BEING SAID HOLY FUCKING SHIT TOMORROW IS EAT TURKEY AND GET FAT DAY! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

2008-11-09T12:23:00.001-08:00

Holy fracking mackerel.

History just happened.

Brain dump

2008-11-05T18:52:00.000-08:00

I don't like thinking about
-Taking the MAT's/GRE's.
-Really getting on top of my eating habits. I did so well this summer and then well, got back into my crappy relationship. Eugh. Damn it.
-What I'm going to do with my life. Yes, I have a plan, but oddly enough, plans never really work.

Regardless, in the next few months I have a ton of work I need to do. My volunteering needs to be kicked up, I need to read more, write more, study more, make more friends, etc.

MAT's need to be taken in January. Early January. Letters of recommendation, the same. I need to get in touch with the Emergency Director for the Red Cross, like tomorrow. I need to stop fucking around, lying to myself, doubting my abilities or my intelligence. The only times I feel slightly less intelligent than I know I am is when I'm around people who are gifted in areas that I'm not familiar with/know nothing about. Ok, big deal, you learn.

Looking back on my behavior my senior year of high school and even when I was applying to Millersville, how I did all of it without breaking a sweat is beyond me. I got into every school I applied to (some sort of karmic joke, I guess), I got into MU without a problem, got into my backup school (Temple) without a problem, etc. Now, I know I have to worry. I know my weaknesses. At this point, I'm making up for lost time.

Last but not least, I should stop beating myself up. On that note, walk more, work hard, play harder, enjoy.

Pornography

2008-11-02T09:04:00.000-08:00

I met a young lady who works in porn. WOMEN FRIENDLY PORN, AT THAT! How exciting, especially since I'm the last girl, ever, to watch porn.

Yep. For all of my raging perversions (of which I am finding out now ain't shit!) I've never watched porn.

Here is her website. There is zombie porn listed as one of her recent reviews (J.D. Bauchery). Again, HOW NEAT!

On that note, I'm going to go find pants, pay my late rent, and then find some very strong coffee.

Halloween or just a good excuse to dress like a slut

2008-10-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

Thus far my 'good' ideas for Halloween were, Sarah Palin (which would be crazy easy), Clementine, a zombie (lawl, easy), or Velma from Scooby Doo (which I've been for the past two years).

For shits and giggles, I may try to be Amanda Palmer. Nobody will get it but it will give me an excuse to wear black and white striped thigh highs (now I have to find a skirt to go with it) and run around with my hair a giant curly mess, white face paint, and the brightest whore red lipstick I can find.

This is a terrible idea. Clementine would be so much easier.

Stupid parties and what not.

Happiness abounds

2008-10-19T18:21:00.000-07:00

So, part of my whole personal growth project (my therapist rocks!) is learning how to be an advocate for myself. For those of you who've never had a problem in your life, it comes normally.

After years of abusive relationships, it's really difficult for me to stick up for myself. I dated a dude for a hot second who controlled my life, in every aspect. I ended it in a fit of my subconcious revolting against what we going on. Months later, we're still fighting. One of us says something to pull the other back in, we fight, rinse, wash, repeat.

So, I've decided to make more of an effort to cut people out of my life who don't appreciate me. Who don't value my quirky (and impulsive) nature along with other numerous positive (and negative) qualities. I am, what I am. I'm a work in progress. You never had faith in me. In my ideas, my beliefs, my intelligence, nothing. You're not good enough to be in my life, since you can't respect who I am.

On a happier note, I found season two of Buffy for twenty five bucks yesterday. Then I proceeded to make a lot of amazing food, drink heavily, and sleep in till noon today.

Life is pretty fantastic.

EDIT:

Keith Olbermann, I love you. That and you're a stone cold fox through the ages.

My Mom thinks I'm a terrorist.

2008-10-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

I'm a bad kid. I keep traumatizing my Mom. My Mom knew of 'The Facebook' from seeing me on it at home but she had no idea what it was. One of her friends asked her if I was on it and then found me (I blame myself for having my profile open to search for a day or two).

My name on Facebook is, Brooke Hussein Tomlinson. The Hussein is there after reading an article in the New York Times on the Internet generation showing solidarity for Barack Hussein Obama and trying to educate people on the fact that his middle name, Hussein, does not have to have terroristic connotations. Article found here. Unfortunately, people are still ignorant. The cunt of a daughter of the man who friended me, turned down my friend request (Facebook politics can suck it. I added her out of obligation since she ate dinner with my family and it was suggested I try to befriend her since she has no friends) because she, "didn't want to be affiliated with anyone who associated with terrorists."

So, my Mom thinks that someday down the road people are going to remember the fact that 'Hussein' was up as part of my name on Facebook and I will be denied job oppurtunities. Bear in mind my name has been Brooke Panda Tomlinson, Saffron Reynolds, Brooke Panda-Reynolds, Panda Tomlinson, Brooke, Brooke Trouble Tomlinson, etc. OH WELL!

Moral of this story, rofl, Internet, rofl.

What being a nerd has done for me

2008-10-06T16:45:00.001-07:00

So, after last month (cancer, being let go from my job, breaking up with my boyfriend, etc.) I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my life and the positive things in it. Today I was thinking about how odd it would be if I wasn't a nerd. One of my co-workers was giving me a hard time about my "million dollar vocabulary" (I used the word clandestine to describe why I kept my Facebook profile private) and I just stopped to think.

When I was eight or nine, I fell in love with Star Trek/Star Wars. I would watch The Next Generation on syndication every night, attended a convention where I got to meet the late, great, James Doohan. Every argument I was in, in elementary school, stemmed from the fact that I was an out and proud Trekkie. Eventually, I caved in to the peer pressure and stopped watching Star Trek. Comic books became my next obsession, followed by Star Wars role-playing. In high school, I fixated on C.S. Lewis and 'subversive' literature (so, Sylvia Plath isn't too subversive).

Now, here I am. I'm twenty-five and I've come flying out of the nerd closet, again, after keeping my nerdyness contained to THE INTERNET.

Yes, I love Star Trek. I love nerdy books. Science Fiction is to me what drugs and alcohol are to other people; a means of escaping from an often times brutal reality. Being a nerd has given me the best friend I could ever ask for in the entire world. Being a nerd has given me the two loves of my life. Being a nerd has helped me make some of the best friends, ever. Being a nerd has taught me that shit is never that bad, you could be de-evolving into a spider and have a de-evolved Klingon chasing you about your own ship. Being a nerd has helped me land a job. Being a nerd means it is ALWAYS acceptable to have a crush on Wil Wheaton. Last but not least, being a nerd means that you can write a blog about being a nerd and Greg Park will comment with something nerdier than what you've written.

I did not kill Amanda Palmer

2008-10-03T15:08:00.001-07:00

The album, "Who Killed Amanda Palmer" came out and it is amazing. Oh, the best part? The book that accompanies the album features Neil Gaiman and local Philly photographer, Kyle Cassidy.

Seeing Neil the other day was one of those, "I am delusional fan-girl but this is lovely." moments. There is nothing I can say at this point to adequately describe how wonderful it was, so here is a link to his site, where you can view the videos of him reading from his new book, which is lovely, to say the least. It's on my nightstand right now, on top of poor Salman Rushdie's "The Satantic Verses" and Watchmen. Big pile of nerdery. I'm getting as much "not work" reading in as possible these days. There will be another blog, soon, about the impending disaster that is my work + internship + grad school applying (MAT/GRE studyin', then takin'). The equation will remain incomplete for the time being.

Fin. Time to finish my laundry, get dinner, and then EXHUMED! Tonight I get the pleasure of seeing Halloween 2 and Eaten Alive, ON TEH BIG SCREEN.

Halloween: Covert Style

2008-09-30T06:23:00.001-07:00

I think I may be Sarah Palin for Halloween this year. I do have the hair and the glasses to pull it off. All I need is a moose beanie baby (which I have) and the outfit is complete, hahahahaha.

So glad this month is almost over

2008-09-29T12:30:00.000-07:00

Oh, fuck it. I'm gonna have a party. New job starts on Oct 6th (first rule about blogging is you don't blog about work, right? No.). It's a young-ish office and I work with a woman I've known from livejournal (NERD!) for years. We're both huge Trekkies. She loves James T. Kirk and I love TNG. Should be interesting, to say the least. I feel like this is going to become UTI (Universal Technical Institute, not urinary tract infection) part II. Have an indifferent attitude towards work but love my coworkers and become emotionally destroyed when I leave. Or not so much destroyed but I'm a big fan of dramatics (what? Don't judge me.).

With this new job, comes a new salary, new friends, new work environment, etc. I'm one step closer to gentrifying into a "sell out". Whatever, it's buying in, not selling out.

That being said, I am so excited for this week. Wednesday is Neil Gaiman Day! Hooray! Which means that somewhere around that celebration, I'll get to meet the fantastical Kyle Cassidy (who encouraged me to wear my Watchmen shirt to the book signing). B.Tom gains 25 nerd points!

Now to exit these destructive relationships and stand on my own. Insults will be traded, feelings will be hurt, but ultimately, I know this isn't where I belong. I have no idea where I belong but I think I'll take some time to figure it out.

Californication AKA my inability to fixate on a "real" male

2008-09-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

I'm behind on the "hip" TV shows. Weeds lost my attention this season (Nancy Botwin, you are a mess) and as much as I love Belle De Jour's blog (and Billie Piper's ass for that matter) I'm not interested in the second season. Last season of Dexter was too awesome and I refuse to watch it anymore since nothing else will make me go, "WHAT?! WHAAAAT!" more than the last season's final episode.

That being said, I've blown through the first season of the X-Files in my post-surgery "not allowed to do anything fun" fest. My nerdy mind has exploded. I decided to watch Duchovney's new show, Californication... little did I know some writer somewhere had loved Bukowski's "Women" (which reminds me, I lent out my copy of it... now to whom...) as much as I did. This writer presumably went out and consumed as much cheap wine/whiskey as humanly possible then wrote a whole series about it.

First off, the main character's name is Hank. Second, he's a sex addict. Third, he's in love with a woman whose the love of his life but he can never have back (due to their emotional fuck ups). He's a mysogonist, acerbic, sardonic, charismatic, drinks Jameson straight, and is going through a writing funk. My god.

Since my infuatation with Fox Mulder (it's easier to like people who aren't real, they never disapoint, make you cry, never not call, etc.) knows no bounds, I think it's perfectly rational to say that I'll be watching the rest of Season 1 tonight, while doing my internship reading.

It's easier for me to drown myself in fiction (science, non, anything) than to deal with the "what if's" of reality right now.

Updating for the sake of Karen

2008-09-20T09:47:00.000-07:00

There is nothing really relevant that I can say at this point.

Mogwai was pretty awesome, my ears are still ringing. The night was made even better by utterly ridiculous texts from one V. Spicer.

The quest for employment is going.

How does one handle this, politely?

2008-09-06T21:22:00.000-07:00

So, many of my Mom's friends have kids my age who are all getting engaged or getting hitched. Which is fine, I mean whatever floats your boat. Unfortunately, these kind hearted souls keep asking my Mom, "When is Brooke going to get engaged?"

My Mom handles it with grace and tact, "She's not seeing anyone special." or "I don't know, whenever she's ready."

Thankfully I have neither grace, nor tact. To put it mildly, it's annoying when people who are blissfully wed (in a day and age when 50% of people get divorced) try to make me feel bad for not being part of their club. I'm not engaged, nor do I want to be anytime in the immediate future. I'm queer so I have a 50% chance of not even being able to marry my hypothetical partner (unless we go to Vermont, California, etc.). Regardless, I'm 25. Why should I be engaged? What happened to being twenty something and care-free? I'm mature enough to admit that I am selfish. I like not having to report to someone, to have a financial responsibility like a marriage (or a child), to do my own damn thing.

A small part of this may be embitterment that I haven't met "the love of my life". That small part is choked to death and swallowed whole (anaconda style) by the common sense part of my brain that says the notion of having one love of my life is out-dated.

Thank God(s) for rationality. WOOOO!

Guten tag

2008-09-06T20:27:00.000-07:00

Karen, I am updating.

At this juncture, my life is being consumed with the (se)X-Files, Black Books, Battles, and learning everything humanly possible about Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, Martin Starr, and Judd Apatow. Sadly, none of these fandoms overlap.

Oh and a friend of a friend directed this so, yay!

After watching, After Hours, this morning I am officially convinced that Martin Scorsese did some really good drugs in the 80's. Also, he has no problem with uni-brows. The whole movie I kept thinking that Griffin Dunne (also known as THE DEAD GUY in An American Werewolf in London) was going to turn into a Maine Coon, what with the 'M' across his face. EEESH!

The things that DARE never taught you (brought to you by Cracked.com)

2008-08-05T13:31:00.000-07:00

The 5 Greatest Things Ever Accomplished While High

#5 Francis Crick Discovers DNA Thanks to LSD

#4 Freud and Cocaine Invent Psychoanalysis

#3 A Coke Addict Makes a Coke-Flavored Cola and Calls it Coke

#2 Dock Ellis Trips His Way to a No-Hitter

#1 Moses Takes 'Shrooms, Shits Out Ten Commandments

Now, kiddies, hows about we discuss how all of this is glazed over (besides the Moses thing) in elementary school/middle school/high (rofl) school. Not to mention the correlation to early religion and drug use (it's common knowledge that people hopped up on goofballs back in the dark ages often saw "halos" aka light screwing with their pupils and walla! deity!).

That being said, I need to start delving into Dr. H.S. Thompson's work. Where do I start (besides Fear and Loathing)?

I love Upper Uwchalan Township

2008-07-25T05:36:00.000-07:00

Asian massage parlor busted for prostitution... the location of the parlor was within a mile of the Upper Uwchlan Township Police station

Rofl. Oh, home. With your exotic massage parlors and silly police force.

For everyone who thinks I'm mean, acerbic, or even a bitch

2008-07-24T19:12:00.001-07:00

This is my favorite thing in the entire world, a (polite!) panda bear with allergies. LOOK AT THEIR EARS!!!

Muppet Belz

2008-07-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Best Week Ever.

Being a big damn Browncoat

2008-07-16T08:42:00.000-07:00

Two words; Doctor Horrible.

My 'Beatle Mania' over all things Joss Whedon has taken on a whole new level. I've transcended into some higher plane of existence.

What is Dr. Horrible? Well, from the Facebook page it is, " The story of a low-rent super-villain, the hero who keeps beating him up, and the cute girl from the laundromat he’s too shy to talk to."

It stars Doogie Howser (uh Neil Patrik Harris) as Dr. Horrible and Nathan Fillion (aka my Captain) as The Hammer. Oh and it's a "Sing-A-Long Blog".

This all started thanks to the WGA Strike. Here's Joss's answer (from the Dr. Horrible site) as to how it came to pass; "Once upon a time, all the writers in the forest got very mad with the Forest Kings and declared a work-stoppage. The forest creatures were all sad; the mushrooms did not dance, the elderberries gave no juice for the festival wines, and the Teamsters were kinda pissed. (They were very polite about it, though.) During this work-stoppage, many writers tried to form partnerships for outside funding to create new work that circumvented the Forest King system.

Frustrated with the lack of movement on that front, I finally decided to do something very ambitious, very exciting, very mid-life-crisisy. Aided only by everyone I had worked with, was related to or had ever met, I single-handedly created this unique little epic. A supervillain musical, of which, as we all know, there are far too few.

The idea was to make it on the fly, on the cheap – but to make it. To turn out a really thrilling, professionalish piece of entertainment specifically for the internet. To show how much could be done with very little. To show the world there is another way. To give the public (and in particular you guys) something for all your support and patience. And to make a lot of silly jokes. Actually, that sentence probably should have come first. "

It's been two years...

2008-07-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

...Since I went to Michigan. My first real vacation and I spent 89% of it under the influence. Which isn't saying that Michigan is so unbearable that I had to drink but rather, it was so easy to roll out of bed at noon, have a drink with lunch, and just wander around Grand Rapids (which is probably one of the cutest, cleanest, friendliest cities, ever).

In the past two years my dear friend Loren has gone from living in his Dad's house in Lansing, to Grand Rapids, to Chicago, to Bowling Green, to Nashville, down to Florida, then New Orleans. He's in LA now, recording his second album and I couldn't be more proud of him.

Loren's pretentious website

Old meme, I don't care

2008-07-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

In celebration of it being almost Friday

2008-07-10T07:06:00.001-07:00

Jermaine Jackson & DEVO

Source: http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/09/video-devo-and-jerma.html

Finally, an excuse to yell "GORRAMIT!" in public

2008-07-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

How English Is Evolving Into a Language We May Not Even Understand

The targeted offenses: if you are stolen, call the police at once. please omnivorously put the waste in garbage can. deformed man lavatory. For the past 18 months, teams of language police have been scouring Beijing on a mission to wipe out all such traces of bad English signage before the Olympics come to town in August. They're the type of goofy transgressions that we in the English homelands love to poke fun at, devoting entire Web sites to so-called Chinglish. (By the way, that last phrase means "handicapped bathroom.")

But what if these sentences aren't really bad English? What if they are evidence that the English language is happily leading an alternative lifestyle without us?

http://www.wired.com/culture/culturereviews/magazine/16-07/st_essay

The key(s) to my heart; bacon & The Doctor

2008-07-08T07:12:00.000-07:00

I'm going to attempt to make a balsamic-bacon vinaigrette sauce for green beans tonight. The best part is it's not even for a person I'm trying to impress. Just a fellow bacon enthusiast.

To balance out my meat consumption, last night for dinner I had Morning Star "hot wings". Doing my best to avoid eating the meat products located in the heart of West Philadelphia. Take that however you want.

So, Doctor Who made me cry (added bonus, I was on a train, so I was crying in public on public transportation). How British Sci-Fi can make me weepy eye'd but not The Notebook (any person who enjoyed that movie deserves to be punched in or about the throat), is beyond me. Oh, right, I'm the Anti-Girl.

Is it so wrong that something like metaphysics (because, essentially trans-dimensional time-travel and paradoxes is metaphysics) gets an emotional response out of me, rather than forced romantic bullshit? No. It'd be nice to have a culture where intellectual stimuli was considered socially acceptable and not some phoney-bologna "love story". That being said, I love Nine but I'd follow Ten until the ends of the universe. Something about a lanky Scot with goofy hair really does it for me.

More the goofy hair than the Scot.

I honestly never thought that it would be like this

2008-07-05T07:21:00.000-07:00

A vast majority of last night was spent engaging in mental exercise. Which is kind of sad since I was at a 4th of July shindig, but on the other hand, it's the sort of thing that I live for.

To quote Henry Rollins, "I want a woman who can sit me down, shut me up, and tell me five things I don't know." While that is something I look for romantically, it also helps in making new friends. In the past two weeks I've met so many new interesting people. None of them are romantic prospects but it's really refreshing to be around people who give my brain a whole new work out.

For example, last week I had a long talk about organizational dynamics and the politics of the department. Thursday, I learned how vowels are plotted. Last night, learned about how social workers work (or not so much apparently) with genetic counselors and how the human gastrointestinal (if thats wrong, I apologize) is adapting to proteins, dairy, and so on and so forth.

Business cards were exchanged. Good times.

Hi Yoshie

2008-07-03T10:11:00.000-07:00

Oh, and the next time you play GTA 4, light a hooker on fire. My friend Rosie's voice is what you will hear. :D

The woes of when people won't let you mico-manage them

2008-07-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

I listened to the ladies who lunch talk about reality TV at lunch. I wanted to stick a chop-stick through my temple.

The joys of owning a vehicle and Daniel Day Lewis

2008-06-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

Having just Kelly Blue Book'ed my car, I want to throw myself from my roof. In the year of owning the car, I've paid almost the value of the car in repairs, up-keep, inspections, so on and so forth. This is incredibly depressing to me, as well, thats money that could have put a size-able dent in my students loans, gone to my savings account, or allowed me to travel around this lovely world. Don't get me started on what I paid for insurance

Rah rah rah, the car has GOT to go. Burn fat, not oil! Oh god, may I never become one of THOSE kids.

Point of interest, Gangs of New York has been following me around for the past 72 hours. I was going to watch it Friday, it was on TV on Saturday, and well, I'm watching it now. The soundtrack is filled with some pretty awesome music, like Afrocelt, and street-beats. Also, most of the music from the film was recorded live. I say most because obviously the Devil's track (Bono) is NOT live. Although, I wish that Bono would have been out in the middle of the brawl's, singing, and getting mowed down by Daniel Day Lewis. That leads me to my next point...

Daniel Day Lewis and his "Whoopse Dayse" dialogue in Gangs of New York will never not make me laugh. That and the "I drink your milkshake", which is completely unrelated to Gangs of New York, but, it's Daniel Day Lewis.

Oh and it's nice to remember John C. Reily before he turned into Will Farrell's bitch.

I love food

2008-06-24T10:13:00.001-07:00

I'm consuming, right at this very second, the best salad to ever exist.

Mixed greens (more spinach next time), red beans, onions, tuna, avocado, dried cranberries, sesame seeds, and feta cheese.

Omg, it's amazing.

This is very exciting so I'm blogging about it!

2008-06-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

For the first time in nearly... three and a half years... I am not FAT! I'm borderline chubby, but damnit, I'm womanly now.

I attribute my success to the Ballerina and to my love of urban exploration.

Here goes nothing

2008-06-19T17:51:00.000-07:00

Adjusting to Philadelphia is still a work in progress. I've been here four months and I still have NO IDEA how I did this.

Now I'm going to start this and see what I can make of it.

Now I get to give my friends creepy e-nicknames! HOORAY!