Thursday, December 18, 2008

How to survive a break up

Buy a jar of Nutella. Eat the shit out of it. Put Nutella on everything. Bread, rice cakes, fruit, a fork, everything. There is nothing that Nutella doesn't enhance. You are dead wrong if you think otherwise. Nutella is ambrosia.

Talk to your bffles. A lot. Complain about (insert sex of choice). Have an online drinking date. Be nostalgic. Do not under any circumstances drink to the point of vomitting.

Listen to Amy Winehouse's "Back to Black". Listen to Nina Simone. Listen to Slayer. Listen to music that makes you feel the whole spectrum of pain. Listen to LOTS of Dio. Country music (real country, not this I got drunk and key'd my ex's car radio bullshit) is solid pain music, as well.

Watch 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' as many times as you can. You get dumped in a particularly brutal fashion? Were you naked during it? Yeah, this movie can one up you. Once you feel better, watch 'Annie Hall'.

Allow yourself to have moments of manic behavior but don't get caught up in it. That Dr. Horrible DVD is totally justified but bidding on Joss Whedon's soul is not.

Last but not least, get over it. Bitches come and go. You can always make somebody else like you.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008